FOUR-inch Hail, and Other Larger-than-life Numbers

4

-inch Balls of …

These photos of snowballs are not snowballs at all, they’re balls of ice, aka hail. Hail that fell on us for a few minutes a week ago. 

Some of these balls were made from several small balls smashing into each other and compacted into one, until they became so heavy they fell from the turbulence in the clouds, right down onto the ground next to our house, and bounced, and hit the house so hard they made holes in the siding. 

Some of these balls of ice were made from a snowballing effect (haha), when pieces of hail bounced around inside the clouds and formed more ice around them, then bounced around in dry air and formed more ice, then in wet air and formed more ice, until the hail balls got so heavy they fell from the turbulent cloud they were formed in, right down onto our truck. 

We were lucky in that the truck was parked so the hail didn’t hit the windshield or back window. Our neighborhood is almost nothing but vehicles with tarps tied around broken glass, up and down the street. Including that cute little Airstream a street over, with a dent the size of my head in it.

People’s skylights in their homes were busted, fences were smacked, my new plastic bird feeder Finn gave me that I’d just put on the window got broken.

We’re lucky we know of no injuries.

4

Times in the Basement and Tornado Warnings 

I just now came in from talking with the shed guy (we’re getting one made for us in the backyard, since the driveway is too narrow to truck one in and the county won’t let us replace the garage), and he said he’d had six tornado warnings at his house a bit north from us. We’ve had plenty of tornado watches (when the items for a taco are spread around the countertop in that warning vs. watch graphic I like) and four warnings when the siren in the neighborhood goes off, and our phones go off, and we gather my emergency bag (from the days in the trailer) and harness Banjo up and head into the basement.

Not that she will lie on her bed where we think it’s safest down there, but we can at least try. We do have transom windows we can see out and an emergency radio we can turn on if we think there really is a tornado nearby, but all of these warnings were generated from radar conditions, not from eyeballs on tornadoes. I’m told I’ll get used to this. 

4

Times I’ve Been Uncomfortable Lately to Make a Friend

I’ve gone to two group ukulele classes so far, but once when I sat next to a likely candidate for a friend, I had to get up for something and my seat was taken when I returned! Then, I had to sit next to the lady dressed all in purple. I complimented her on her lovely purple slippers, and she smiled and showed me the inside of her bag, and all was purple. Not that she was high on the friend candidate list before, but, no thank you now.

I’ve attended the local Universalist Unitarian church twice now with the same goal in mind, and, of course, they gather around you like moths to a flame as soon as you say you’re new. But there’s only so much of that small talk I can take, and I’ve left each time before coffee klatch or whatever they call the actual socializing part. I did very much like the music they choose to play during some segment of the hour-long service; this last time the little acoustic band played a song where the narrator wishes her friend, when given the opportunity to dance or to sit out, will dance. That’s the chorus, to dance, and some guy in the congregation got up during the chorus and started dancing, then everyone got up and soon the whole congregation was dancing to this stupid song, and I felt like: This might actually be a place for me. Don’t tell them that, though; I’m not ready to join or anything monumental. I really just want to make a friend. One friend. Damn.

I did join a “club” for people who just moved to Madison, but the writer subset of the club looks lame (you meet at a library then read aloud what you wrote at the end of the meeting time. What?). The hiking club looks good, but the one in my area met just once to walk near me and I had an appointment. Eventually I will make one friend. 

5

Photos of Poop on My Phone

One night while we were playing trivia with Tracy’s friends from school, Banjo got into that pantry I made for the kitchen until we renovate it, and she helped herself to:

• 12 bread buns
• 2 sleeves of fig newtons
• 1 pound of chocolate chips

That smorgasbord actually helped her digestive problems of late; I posted about her barfing on the carpet, previously. All that food slowed down her stomach unhappiness, but as soon as it was out of her system, her stomach went back to its state of dire rear. Finally, after weeks of a bland diet (I learned I can walk to a grocery store to buy cheap chicken breasts) and probiotics, she is back to her old iron-stomach self. With fewer voles in our wacky neighborhood, she should be on the mend long-term.

5

out of 6 Photos Successfully Framed and Mounted

I’ve gone through stages of grief after leaving the road when I’ve wanted to look through my old photos and when it’s been painful. I’ve been at a wanted stage long enough that when I bought six cheap frames with mats in them at my local Habitat Restore, I established an account with Nations Photo Lab (a reputed print maker) and uploaded six original prints. When they came, I realized one of them wasn’t original (I must’ve uploaded a lower-res version), so I’ll need to re-order that one, but my experiment went well.

Once the renovation is complete, I’ll get more photos printed, in thematic groups and in various types of better-quality frames, and, woohoo, I will always be reminded of a life I miss everywhere I turn.  Is that a good thing?

8

Hours of Sleep Every Night

That’s an at-least; in truth it’s been more like 9, 10, 11, even 12 hours of sleep every day, if I can get a nap in. I am very sleepy, and I sleep a lot. Like, when I’m writing a blog post. It’s pain in the ass, but as long as I’m not operating heavy machinery (heck, I still haven’t bought a car so I’m not even driving), I’m counting this as catch up on those 50 years of terrible sleep.

13

Pounds

That’s how much weight I’ve lost in a month, since we moved to the house. I’m up and down the stairs, I’m doing yard word, I’m riding my bike, I’m certainly no longer eating at night to stave off terrible restlessness.  I gained about ten pounds quickly during that terrible time in my health, and I gained ten pounds slowly while we were on the road, so I figured I have seven pounds left to lose before I’m back at the fit self I was before we left the house in Maryland. Of course, I hit menopause since then, so who knows how hard it will be to lose those remaining 7 pounds. I’m working on it.  

314

Emails I’ve Sent through MailChimp that Sucked

I used MailChimp to send a weekly RSS feed to people who want to read this blog but don’t subscribe through WordPress or their own RSS feed service. I’m happy with MailChimp but not with my lame proofreading skills for that weekly email or my forgetfulness to update the text each week. Really, all I do is cram in a bunch of typos and stupid mistakes to replace last week’s bunch of typos and stupid mistakes. And, now I’m paying for that service. 

I’m thinking about canceling, not the email but the type of email, so that only a summary of the feed gets sent, no note from me saying what I’m up to that week as a preamble. It’s a cursed segment for me in terms of typos and mistakes of image size, so why write anything in there at all? Let me know if you disagree.

747

Newsletters I Erroneously Subscribed To

One night between periods of deep sleep, I thought I was awake enough to buy a pair of rain boots. Idiot move. I clicked on something that targeted me for a type of phishing campaign I’ve never seen. I was subscribed to 747 different newsletters, then (this is my guess) they send me a phishing email amidst all those emails, and I’m so busy clicking and unsubscribing that I don’t notice I’ve clicked on something I shouldn’t. 

Luckily, I use an Apple mail client so I can click the top “unsubscribe” option and Apple sends an email to the newsletter saying to unsubscribe me, instead of me clicking inside the email and risking clicking on this phishing scammer. Of course, that unsubscribe option won’t work for all those subscriptions, but in the meantime I’m learning a lot from The Urban Monk and Golf Now and Cornucopia Popcorn. 

x00,000 

Dollars We Signed with the Builder

I’m not saying the actual amount because it’s obscene, but that’s for the house renovation. I should hear this week when they start! We will get the shed built before that, and the fence built, and then I’ll start putting in a garden and a brick patio, if my mason friend Tom can coach me, remotely. I’m excited about all of it! 

Now, if only I had a friend who would come to my back yard and play ukulele with me. Maybe admire some of my framed photos in my newly renovated house and compliment me on my slim and rested self and pet my dog who is no longer pooping 12 times a day and enjoy the non-hailing weather.