Light Music Bar Tiny House (what?)

Finally, I can say that I truly hated making this Tiny House.

I bought the kit because I was excited to have found a bar (the kind you drink in) as a Tiny House, but then I found the incomparable Green’s Bar for Doug, and I stashed this kit, in its box, for emergency use only. It seemed weird even then: what’s a “light music” bar, anyway?

The light part is one skylight. (And one open ceiling that may have needed a plastic covering, but the directions didn’t indicate that. What kind of roof is this with shingles in a corner and supporting struts only?)

The music part is a guitar that was the most difficult Tiny House item I’ve ever tried to assemble. See below on detailed complaining there.

The bar part is described in the subhead under the main sign: “Even if noisy, happy unrestrained place.”

I’ll go with “noisy” because of the sighing and light cussing coming from me while I was constructing it, but “happy,” no. I did restrain myself from throwing away the whole dammed thing before I’d finished, which may have been a mistake.

General Complaining

• The the paper parts were too thin to fold and glue together (they would crumple and bend wrong) so I trashed several pieces that should have been furniture and decorations.
• I painted everything in the parts list at the same time so I could do it outside on a picnic table and not risk getting paint in the Airstream. Much later, while I was in the middle of making something, the instructions would slyly slip in, “Paint wires before attaching.” Over and over. ARG.
• The tiny wood pieces never fit together as they should have. I had to cut them and shove them and glue them into unnatural positions. I felt ashamed, afterwards.

• The instructions were so badly written and organized that I missed crucial elements, like how the bar front sign was to be constructed. I’ve complained before about the fact the little goes into translation or troubleshooting some brands of these, but this was the worst I’ve ever seen. Even with all my notes and arrows and circles and stickies, I just could not find sections of the building to go with the instructions and vice versa.

My dad used to tell my mom (lovingly) that she painted rooms like a blind person. I’m thinking whoever designed this Tiny House was in the same camp as Mom. Although, I do not love this person.

Lights

This was the first thing I worked on, and it should have been a clue. I had to strip the wires near the bulbs to get them to set in place inside the pendants, then I had to try to keep the wires separate with heat-molded rubber. I ruined one set when I over-burned the rubber, so I had to grab a replacement from my extra parts bin. Red Alert!

I could go on and on about twisting the wires too much and trying to cut and glue those tiny chains at the right length (they are so tiny you can barely see the rings to count them to ensure they’re even). Each part seemed unnecessarily complex and unattractive. I didn’t even get a glorious chandelier after all that work, just a lopsided industrial light fixture.

Sitting Area

So, two people can sit together at this place in a little alcove.

They get a table for their drinks, one person gets a blanket and a bagged lunch, plus there’s a guitar. That part I actually understand.

Wait, a bagged lunch?

The Elizabethan chair was fun to try to assemble, but I couldn’t get the leather to match up to appear seamless.

Look at those cute little legs. I’d like them more if I hadn’t had to paint them at the last minute.

The Guitar

I’ll give you abbreviated assembly steps on this one piece.

1. Paint some parts (I can’t remember if it was the headstock, neck, or body—who cares at this point).
2. Cut out very tiny, thin paper that looks like wood veneer and glue it somewhere.
3. Glue the headstock, neck, and body together. Note: after the paint and other glue, the essential elements that make up the guitar just would not stick to each other. I really should have glued the pieces together and then decorated them.
4. Strip the outer rubber from electric wire and cut into six guitar strings that were so tiny Tracy asked if I were working with my own hair. Actually, that might have been easier.
5. Glue the ends of the wires into the back of the body, then thread them in order up the neck and into appropriate holes in the headstock, then twist and glue.

Right. I spent about half one night wresting with this thing. I so wanted it to be strung right, because unlike many Tiny House items, this was designed like the real thing (albeit left-handed?).

But the neck kept falling off, and the wires kept getting tangled, and they’re so small I had to use two pairs of tweezer that would get glue on them and stick to all wires but the one I needed to straighten, and GAH I gave up and left it as is. It’s recognizable as a guitar, so there.

Although, according to the marketing photos,, it’s should look like this.

This is another point when I should have seen to throw this sucker away unfinished.

Bar Lucky

This section isn’t so bad.

The beer taps (at left, back) I just could not complete because my glue drops were bigger than the handles.

I didn’t include plates of snacks on the bar because they were pieces of thin paper that were unrecognizable in the instructions even before I glued them into crumples. Funny how you can’t see what I threw away!

Bar Stools

All I can say about these three (two in the front and one to the side) is that I made all three twice, and I think I did a worse job the second time.

• The buttons for the seats are adorable. Too bad I couldn’t get those thin wires to bend and straighten to even resemble furniture.
• The third chair is supposed to have a metallic seat. That’s thin guide paper glued to thin shiny paper. Um, no.
• They won’t stick to the floor, either, so I don’t know if they’ll survive a handoff. This might be a standing bar.

Details

Some items don’t look bad.

The flowers are cute (I was just winging everything at this point).

The redundant signs hang nicely.

I could point out the missing sections, the cheap materials, yadda yadda. Instead, I’m just going to leave this sucker at the campground dumpster with a FREE sign and move on!

P.S.: I walked it over to the campground host on the other loop here at Cagle Rec. Area, and she said, “Amazing! Can I have it?” and then, “If I don’t have room, my daughter is a bartender and she would love it.” Done!