Contentment Feels Like Bliss

In the middle of a bunch of craziness, I had one of those unusual moments of awareness. It was in the morning, and I was sitting beside my son on the sofa in the trailer. We were both worn out after having gotten in from the airport at 3 a.m. We were both wearing the equivalent of pjs, and our hair was mussed up, and our brains were frazzled. And I was feeling 100% content.

(This is not that moment in time, but it is that moment in my heart.) Contentment can feel like bliss, I think, especially when you’re stressed out otherwise.

I have a lot going on right now, and I don’t want to get into it because I want this feeling with Finn to continue. He and I are in his rental condo on South Padre Island as I type, him sleeping and me avoiding doing physical therapy exercises (I will, I promise). But in brief:

🩼 My appointments for my knee have gotten all tangled up, here and in Houston. Right now, I’m scrambling to be sure all my pre-surgery tests and approvals get done in time for surgery on Monday.

💡 Our electrical contraption in the Airstream is broken. Its job is to manage the electrical current from outside (solar panels, campground electricity, generator, you pick the source) to the lithium batteries inside and to our trailer. After a year of it blinking out, it has died. This is Tracy’s domain, so I won’t get in the weeds here.

⚕️You remember that time I had to pee into a hat for a day? I finally got to see an endocrinologist, and she thinks I might have something going on; it could have been a factor in the bike accident, and it could be a factor during surgery. More on this after I do additional testing.

✈️ Back to that moment on the sofa next to Finn, though. We’d gone to bed at 3 a.m. the night before because his connecting flight here had been late, and then he had to spend three hours on the tarmac waiting to take off. Then an hour’s drive back to the trailer—that happened to have no electricity. This is some serious emotional stamina Finn exhibited to endure that night.

Now he’s all settled in to his condo on South Padre Island, where he’ll be vegging for a month of much deserved vacation from a rigorous academic life. My timing is terrible in that I’m running around doing all this medical stuff while he’s here, but in a way it’s perfect because I get to calm the craziness with these moments of zen the few times I do see him.

Speaking of which, here’s a bit of calm from the hot tub at the RV resort. I’m so grateful for this.

And here’s Tracy demonstrating the potential glory of Finn’s private balcony; the cold front is leaving soon and Finn will get to sit out here, and walk to the beach that’s a block away, and simply be. No doctoral program, no work stress, just sunshine and piña coladas.

Finally, here’s Finn and me in his condo, doing what we do best together: watching Star Trek (the screen grab I took up top is an amazing coincidence), showing each other stuff we’re interested in, just sitting together. We’re collectively exhausted and a bit burned out and a little worried, but we’re together, which makes contentment feel just like bliss.